THANKYOU FROM HAWTHORN FOOTBALL CLUB (EMAIL CIRCULATING)
By Ben Jensen (Back in London) CAN'T RECALL such emails going around last season after Geelong's Premiership win over Port Adelaide, although the website www.onehundredandnineteen.com came close.
This is to thank all those selfless contributors to Hawthorn's premiership success that didn't get a mention in the acceptance speeches.
To the Richmond football club, we thank you. Not only did your shameful tanking in 2004 prevent our ordinary Schwab-led side from the indignity of a wooden spoon, but your swift action in appointing Terry Wallace would bare further dividends in the drafts to come. Congratulations on achieving your goal and being the best team outside the eight this season.
To Terry Wallace and Greg Miller for overlooking the talented players in the 2004 draft. With over 180 goals between them, our two 21 year old key forwards have proven that you can't succeed without a dominant forward structure.
To Dean Laidley and the Kangaroos football club. We thank you for accepting our gifts of Nathan Thompson and Jonathan Hay and for granting us young premiership stars Grant Birchall and Jordan Lewis.
To the Fremantle football club. We thank you for gifting us our premiership captain and north smith medallist with your farcical trading in 2001. And we thank you for returning Croad to us at a basement price two years later. Your role in this premiership will not be forgotton.
To the Melbourne football club and their heartless members. We thank you for your determined efforts to merge with us some 12 years ago. Without that scare, we would not be the financial powerhouse we are today. You never got that merger your collective hearts desired, but your role in putting together the most advanced football department in the land is eternally appreciated.
To the Geelong football club and Messrs Taylor, Mooney and Chapman. We thank you for defecating your footy shorts as the Hawthorn juggernaut closed in. We congratulate you on stealing a cheap flag a year before the Hawks were ready and offer our commiserations to those responsible for your laundry this weekend.
We must also acknowledge Geelong and their individual brilliance. Thank you for being a team of individuals. Congratulations on your dominance of the All Australian side and bad luck to Gary for missing out on the Brownlow and Norm Smith. It was enough to make a grown man cry.
To the Collingwood football club, we thank you. Sure, you're no good but we thank you for exposing Geelong's soft underbelly. Hit them hard, hit them often and watch them fall to bits.
To the St Kilda football club, we thank you for Brent
Guerra. We apologise for taking your single tough player and realise
Thank you to Brisbane for holding onto Leigh Matthews for the right amount of time, preventing the temptation of us taking him as coach instead of Clarkson. It would have been awesome to have Lethal as coach, but I don't think he would have been able to do the wonders with our list that Clarko did.
Thank you to West Coast and Fremantle for failing to effectively keep Buddy Franklin hidden from public view so you they could steal him with their first picks.
And of course thank you to Carlton, Richmond, West Coast, Melbourne, Western Bulldogs, Essendon, Fremantle, Brisbane, Adelaide and Sydney for overlooking Cyril Rioli in last year's draft, for that, we are eternally grateful. Good luck to them and their stat magnet midfielders. May their pointless 30 possession games forever see them watching on as Cyril Rioli wins Hawthorn premierships with 10 of the greatest touches ever in football.
We must also thank the media for overlooking our injuries throughout the year. We knew we only lost to the Bulldogs because of injuries and were accused of making excuses. Fools suggested our challenging Geelong in round 17 should be discounted as Ablett, Ling and Milburn did not play. Instead, the result should have been discounted as Dew, Young and Crawford didn't play - all dominated on grand final day. Hell, even with a stack of injuries we were too strong on the biggest stage.