I'm no bimbo - and other Street Talk fallacies

STREET WISE: Billy Brownless conducts the infamous Street Talk segment, where there are no second takes for the unsuspecting. Photo: PETER RISTEVSKI  
Wednesday, July 31

I NEVER thought I'd ever be a Footy Show idiot.

You know the ones, caught in front of the camera, acting like stunned mullets.

They mumble something that makes them look stupid, paving the way for Sam Newman to fire some quick insult.

That couldn't happen to me. I'm a career journalist, I'm no bimbo.

Until yesterday.

It's amazing what happens when someone shoves a microphone in front of you.

The infamous Street Talk was being filmed in the Market Square Mall yesterday and I was assigned to take a look, see who the silly subjects would be in downtown Geelong.

When I got there kids were throwing vanilla slice in the direction of the camera.

Billy Brownless was looking for someone to talk to.

And before I knew what was happening, it was me.

Billy was asking me leading questions to which I dutifully responded without thinking too hard about it.

Except this is on national television.

One word out of place and it's on tape for all-time.

Well, at least until tomorrow night.

I'll give you a sample.

Billy: Would you go on a date with Sam Newman?

Me: No, he's too old.

You get the drift.

The microphone was taken away and my brain started to tick over.

How did that happen?

And why was Billy doing Street Talk this week?

If you want to know more, I guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow night.

But I think at one stage I said if given the chance I would run over Sam Newman.

Well, wouldn't you?